When is the last time someone looked you in the eye, and asked you sincerely, what are your hopes and dreams, and where will you be in five or 10 years?

I hope, I really really hope that you have the kind of relationship where you have already talked with your partner about what you want in five years, where you want to be, and who you want to be. I know from experience this sounds like it should be easy but it’s not.

Let me tell you about us. Both Darling Husband and I have anxiety and depression. We have had marriage trouble, financial trouble, health issues, and issues with the kids. And now our parents have passed or are aging. Most adults are going through the same kind of stress right now. 

As a result of this life stress, both DH and I didn’t allow ourselves to dream. We couldn’t. We didn’t have the funds and didn’t have the energy. We were preoccupied with everything else. Sometimes, we couldn’t see a way forward. We confronted almost losing our home, admitted we had a failing business, and even talked about divorce. Who is going to dream about the future when you go through those things? But slowly we dug ourselves out. It took years of patience, discipline, and talking our asses off. Today, our relationship is not problem free, but it’s steady and we are still friends.

One day, DH started talking about moving away from the city. At that time, we hadn’t talked about dreams and hopes for years. That was when I knew we were stable enough to start dreaming again. And that has become our shared dream: moving to somewhere quieter near some water. We may never move. But the fact that we are talking about the next phase of our life and are open to possibilities, that’s a healthy step in our relationship.

To get to the place of “What if?” and “We could do that!” is gratifying and exciting all at once. Our dreams bond us. Dreaming as a couple signifies emotional freedom in your partnership journey. In the midst of day-to-day life, we couldn’t dream. We were trying to survive. It took us years to return to dreaming as we had as a young couple.

I’m wondering how your journey is going. Are you dreaming? Most of all, I wish you peace and wisdom on your journey.


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