I’m not feeling sexy right now. I’m preoccupied with bills, kids, chores.
I want to feel sexy. So badly. To feel that confidence. To have a mental tingle. Adrenaline surging, having its way with me.
I’ve had times where sexy was in the On position all the time. My mind and body were attuned to stimulation, always seeking the next rush and sweet release.
But my body is changing. Sleep and temperature control elude me. Worry has no outlet.
I’m dismayed when I realize it’s been days since I felt sexy, truly alive with anticipation. I don’t feel like touching myself. I don’t even want to try to seduce DH. I know his libido is slipping, too. Dammit.
And then I have a respite. The stars in my mind and body align. Real life ebbs into background noise. Desire beckons its friend Arousal for a dance. And we are off, swirling and dipping and vibrating and laughing.
I want to feel this way every day. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
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Boy, don’t I know it, too!! Yes, it is awful. I agree. But I think life itself just catches up with us and we just get deflated in our older years. No pun intended… Growing up, I too had an off the charts sex drive. But also a lot of other emotions I am glad to have grown out of. I guess there is no answer on the good or bad of this. Like you, some go kicking and screaming and others just accept the way it is.
March 13, 2019 at 8:36 amYou have a good point about maturing as we get old. I think we recognize the totality of intimacy, while we still learn for lust. I just want it all!
March 16, 2019 at 5:53 pm