My gynecologist says that I’m a unicorn.

Okay, let me be clear. I’m not talking about the swinger definition, which is a woman who joins a couple for sexual adventure. That kind of unicorn is so named because she is sought after and, most of all, rare.

While I’m not that kind of unicorn, I am unusual in one aspect, from my doctor’s perspective. I am over 50 and I still have sex. In fact, I desire it–madly, passionately. When I told my doctor this, she said, “Really?” I replied, “Yes, I could do it every other day. It’s crazy.”

“I never, ever hear that,” she said, clearly surprised.

I thought, “Never?” I do know women who love sex–in their 40s, 50s and beyond. They must not go to my doctor.

“Good for you!” the doctor continued. “So, you use a lubricant?” she asked, as if that were a foregone requirement for a woman approaching menopause.

I didn’t understand what she was saying for a moment. Then it dawned on me, she was talking about during sex. “Um, no, I don’t always need to,” I finally said. She made a note on the computer.

Leaving the office, I was puzzled: why are more middle aged women not having, not enjoying, sex? It turns out there are a multitude of reasons, as I discovered as I read books about the subject and talked to friends about it. And yes, there ARE a lot of women who want to have mad, passionate sex!

But I was also grateful for the doctor’s questions. Grateful that my body still does wonderful things for me. And I’m over 50. Now where is DH? I really need to get my hands on him.

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