Surrendering to Marriage
Title: Surrendering to Marriage
Published: 2002
Page Count: 240
Format: Paperback
"A raw and penetrating portrait of modern marriage and the backbreaking work required to make it last. With joyous, sexy and shocking stories of real marriages, real affairs, and real divorces, Surrendering to Marriage moves far beyond a how-to manual. Krasnow shows us that a successful marriage has less to do with bursts of bliss and everything to do with 'embracing the ordinary' in our day-to-day relationships."

Let’s face it, marriage is not all roses and chocolates. While there are highs and lows in marriage, daily life is, well, just boring daily life. Krasnow points out that today’s marriages carry a lot of expectations. Not only are we married for economic reasons but for emotional needs. To complicate matters, we often feel we are entitled to be happy, and we place that burden on our spouse. Her interview subjects tell their stories of marriage, affairs, second marriages, love and loss. Clearly, affairs and divorce are not always the answer to personal and familial happiness. As a journalist, she shows rather than tells.

Krasnow’s analysis of divorce shows that we are often looking outside ourselves, when we should be looking inside. Affairs are the result of wanting excitement and a cure for marriage malaise but rarely lead to happiness, only pain. Her interview with divorce attorney Dr. Isaiah Zimmerman is fascinating; he should write a book himself!

Around page 174, I was starting to get depressed about marriage (and was editing all the random literary references out of the book in my head). But then it picked up with more hope, a focus on “embracing the ordinary” and wonderment about being a couple and creating a family. Often the solution is not only communicating but working on one’s self to meet internal needs. That’s what I want to hear and that’s what today’s couples need: hope and strength to overcome the routine of life, and purposeful movement into joy.

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