The problem with being me is that I can’t keep my mouth shut. Another issue is that I’m a bit of a blonde at times. This office party was a case in point.

I was at my manager’s country home for an holiday open house. I had a couple glasses of wine and was eyeing my slim female co-worker again (which is completely irrelevant to this tale actually). It was time to head upstairs for food, and I went behind the bar to get the bottle of red wine I’d been emptying.

My male co-worker was also behind the bar so we started talking about his baby daughter. He is in his 40s and was briefly my manager, so we know each other fairly well. He said that he and his wife wanted to have another baby in the new year. I don’t know how I jumped to the topic of erectile dysfunction but I did. “Did you know that about half of men by the time they are 50 experience some form of ED?” I said, mostly because I find that statistic interesting. “So if you have no problem in that department, then great!”

He grinned even more widely, saying, “No problem in that department whatsoever.” As we talked, his amused smile got bigger as he reassured me repeatedly that his pecker worked quite well.

Then it hit me that perhaps talking about his privates was inappropriate small talk. “Oh, dear, I’m not being pervy. I have an interest in the subject,” I explained.

Well, that didn’t help much.

“No, I mean, I have a blog about sex, love and relationships after 50, and I read a lot and write about it,” I explained. He nodded, still grinning. Somehow, we wrapped up the conversation and both headed upstairs, and I became increasingly chagrined. I would not recommend asking a co-worker if his member is in functioning order as office party chatter. He took it in stride and seemed quite proud that it worked on command so beautifully–and I was indeed glad for him that it did.

But geez, DW, could you just not talk about penises once in a while?