It’s time! Our libidos are in sync, and DH and I are going to have SEX! I go to the bedroom first and DH follows later, giving his Cialis time to kick in and giving me time to, well, prep and shed the day.

I need to light the candles because the flickering of candlelight turns me on. Scripto lighter–empty. Matches–three tries to light the stubby wicks. Okay, candles are lit.

Maybe I should wear something sexy. Can’t put on a corset by myself. What about that shiny black and pink paisley halter top? Not too wrinkled, I’ll wear that. Hmmm, do I wear a bra underneath? Nah, I’ll skip it. Okay, halter top on. What the hell happened to my boobs? They’re so…saggy! (Three kids and life happened.) Maybe if I pull the top edge down a little, at about nipple’s edge? Actually, that’s not bad. Feeling cute and sexy, I get into bed.

Now where did my wine go? Next to the candles. Get up, grab the wine glass and crawl in bed once more. The cat wants out of the bedroom (smart cat). Get up and let the cat out. Get back in bed.

Okay, everything’s ready, and I’m waiting for DH. But I’m not feeling hot and bothered, not one bit. This calls for porn, an expressway to horniness. I find my old netbook computer on the floor and open Tumblr. Safe mode is on, dammit. Log in to Tumblr (what is my login?) and find my fave content. All I find is videos of oral. Not feeling this at all. Turn off the computer.

I take a selfie for DH. Actually, I take five and choose the best one. He texts back, “Sweetheart, you’re beautiful! I’m a lucky guy with a wife with spectacular tits.” I take off my carefully arranged top and take another selfie, and text him that he should come back and plow me. He texts back some filthy smut that I have to laugh at. My hands start wandering on my body as I think of a response.

And a good time is had by all…