My gynecologist says that I’m a unicorn.
Okay, let me be clear. I’m not talking about the swinger definition, which is a woman who joins a couple for sexual adventure. That kind of unicorn is so named because she is sought after and, most of all, rare.
While I’m not that kind of unicorn, I am unusual in one aspect, from my doctor’s perspective. I am over 50 and I still have sex. In fact, I desire it–madly, passionately. When I told my doctor this, she said, “Really?” I replied, “Yes, I could do it every other day. It’s crazy.”
“I never, ever hear that,” she said, clearly surprised.
I thought, “Never?” I do know women who love sex–in their 40s, 50s and beyond. They must not go to my doctor.
“Good for you!” the doctor continued. “So, you use a lubricant?” she asked, as if that were a foregone requirement for a woman approaching menopause.
I didn’t understand what she was saying for a moment. Then it dawned on me, she was talking about during sex. “Um, no, I don’t always need to,” I finally said. She made a note on the computer.
Leaving the office, I was puzzled: why are more middle aged women not having, not enjoying, sex? It turns out there are a multitude of reasons, as I discovered as I read books about the subject and talked to friends about it. And yes, there ARE a lot of women who want to have mad, passionate sex!
But I was also grateful for the doctor’s questions. Grateful that my body still does wonderful things for me. And I’m over 50. Now where is DH? I really need to get my hands on him.
You can also find me here:
Humorous post but also quite enlightening to the realities of our lives. Modern society still reinforces the false stereotype that women have no interest or desire for sex as they age. Even our doctors buy into that BS.
A woman going through menopause will be subjected to the hormonal changes but they can usually be managed. If she has a desirable partner and a positive sex attitude then sex after 50 can be just as good or better than sex before 30.
The sad truth is too many women after 50 want sex but are partnered with a man who claims to be too old, too tired, too stressed, too sick, too busy or too self-centered to attend to the needs of his wife. Too often the woman over 50 wants sex, hot kinky sex, but not with her indifferent partner.
September 6, 2018 at 4:06 amI think that the media and society in general tell women that to be sexy you need to be young, thin etc. etc. This means subconsciously many believe, along with the religious and other society views on morality, that women who like sex are in some way deviant. Such a shame that something that should be part of all of us is treated like that.
September 17, 2018 at 6:10 am