This book promises a lot, if you read the back cover and the reviews. I’m not buying it. Granted, there are a lot of ideas in this book I liked, the main one being that desire is paramount to having a good sex life with your partner. Communication about sex, about your relationship, about your goals–it’s all good. I can’t argue with any of the tidbits in this book.
On the other hand, Cervenka uses the phrase “turning your sex centers on” (a legit therapeutic concept) and she points out barriers to desire: relationship inequality, infidelity and flirtation, computer sex, and even being a wimp. Her primary theory is individual power and power reciprocity–that you respect and love yourself, and do the same for your partner. While I’ve heard this concept before, and agree wholeheartedly that it’s important, the way that Cervenka states it (and repeats it ad nauseam) never made sense to me.
The author claims that if you follow her book, you will reawaken your sexual desire as a couple. Exercises are included with detailed instructions. Case studies are included to illustrate points. But if you know anything about me by now, I put a premium on writing style as well. While I underlined a lot of thoughts in this book, it’s not a book I’d recommend. Even for the time it was written in, the “imagine this situation” scenarios were outdated and unrealistic. The language was confusingly conversational and formal at the same time. I was glad to be done with this book, and shocked I finished it.